tl note: There are some some cultural references in this chapter, so I recommend that you check out the footnotes for context. Also, all instances where I used ‘P jie‘ are now re-translated to ‘Sister P’
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“She isn’t a princess who transmigrated over, she’s my ancestor who transmigrated over.”
Of course she wasn’t a ghost — she’d debuted at the age of 10 and set a new record for ratings at the age of 20. She was the darling of several famous luxury brands and the hottest female star right now. She was Cheng Xingfei.
Of course she wasn’t a ghost, either — she’d been born in the imperial palace and grew up in the Emperor’s lap. She was the most controversial royal in history and the last princess of the Hua Dynasty. She was Hua Zhao.
They’d originally been born in two different eras, but the magic of time had reached across a thousand years to make them meet right here.
In the end, Cheng Xingfei was a modern person who had also seen violent storms as a female star. Although this whole thing was completely strange, she was determined not to be shaken.
Compared to her, Hua Zhao couldn’t be so calm.
In this short day and night, Hua Zhao had experienced too many bizarre things.
She was surrounded by things she’d never before seen. What made her most desperate and shocked was, if that place called “museum” was correct, her Father Emperor, her Hua Dynasty, her country and people that she wanted to defend… were already a thousand years in the past, disappeared into the long river of history!
How would she accept it? How could she accept it?!
Last night, she’d had no time to think with tears rolling down her face. The result was that a group of men popped out from who knew where, called her a thief, and wanted to take her to a “police station”? She was a noble princess; how could she tolerate such grievances? Fortunately, she had some martial arts skills, and was barely able to escape from their grasp.
Her hair was messy, pearl hairpins dropped, clothes torn, and her face gray. She’d fled to this garden in a hurry and found a corner in which to hide where no one would notice. Originally, she was going to look for another way out after waiting for the sun to go down. But then, someone appeared out of thin air who looked exactly the same as her?!
Hua Zhao’s eyes widened and she nearly blurted out, “Ghost!”
But just as she opened her mouth, Cheng Xingfei broke free from her shock, stretched out her hands, and covered her mouth.
Two people stared at each other.
Each’s hands still covering the other’s mouth.
Neither one saying a word.
Cheng Xingfei: “Wuwuwu…”
Hua Zhao: “Yiyiyi…”
They stopped speaking at the same time.
Silently counted, one, two, three, and let go at the same time.
As soon as she let go, Hua Zhao jumped out and nestled against the rock wall. She was like an over-frightened cat.
But the gap between the rock walls were so narrow, no matter how much she hid, the distance between the two of them was still very close. It was so close they could clearly see each other.
Cheng Xingfei took the lead and tried to calm her down.
She acted first: “What’s your name?”
Hua Zhao was vigilant: “Wretch! Do you deserve to know bengong’s name?”
Cheng Xingfei: “…”
A particularly absurd suspicion rose from Cheng Xingfei’s heart. Although this suspicion was too laughable and too inconceivable, when all impossibilities are eliminated, whatever remains must be the truth.1
Cheng Xingfei settled herself down and asked her, “Odd changes to even, doesn’t change to?”
Hua Zhao had naturally never heard of it. “Chicken? What, chicken becomes dog and then, what, you would not make a duck become a cat or something else?”2
Cheng Xingfei: “You’re my little apple?”3
Hua Zhao: “Bengong does not like eating apples.”
Cheng Xingfei: “There’s a sitting monkey4 on top of the tree and a monkey below the tree. How many monkeys are there in total?”
Hua Zhao immediately looked up at the trees. “Monkey? Where are the monkeys?”
Cheng Xingfei: “…”
… Alright.
Cheng Xingfei was practically certain that there really was a 99.9% chance that this girl who looked a little mentally ill was a transmigrated Princess Hua Zhao.
So ridiculous, so true.
Cheng Xingfei smiled and said, in the tone of the Queen coaxing Princess Snow White: “Princess, Your Highness, are you hungry? I can get you something to eat?”
……
The History Museum opened at 9 every day. At 8:50, there was already a long, snaking, line of visitors waiting to be admitted.
In the reception room, Sister P and the museum director finished their discussions. Captain Zhuo escorted them out of the museum.
Cheng Xingfei’s nanny car was parked in the parking lot. Zhuo Yi was still on duty, so he could only send Sister P to the entrance.
Because he’d acted so roughly against Cheng Xingfei before, Sister P looked at him very unfavorably, showing him a bad expression.
Zhuo Yi didn’t concern himself with it — Cheng Xingfei was a female star and he was the security captain of the museum. Their identities were too different. He guessed that the intersection of their lives would end right here.
If it’s a person you’re only “fated to meet once,” it doesn’t matter whether you leave a good or bad impression.
Sister P quickly found Cheng Xingfei’s nanny car in the parking lot. She opened the car door to get in. The car’s air conditioning was turned on full blast, blowing away her heat.
Cheng Xingfei had already returned back to the car. She sat inside upright with a well-behaving face.
The nanny car was very spacious. There was a soundproofing barrier in between the front driver’s seat and the rear, which ensured sufficient privacy. No matter what they talked about in the back, the driver in the front wouldn’t hear it.
Sister P took out a loose-powder puff from her carry-on bag while briefing Cheng Xingfei on the situation.
“Xingfei, I’ve already negotiated with the museum. The leaking of their surveillance camera footage came from their lack of supervision, so they’ll be responsible for clarifying the situation. They’ll also hold the guard who leaked the video accountable.”
Cheng Xingfei blinked and said, “Sister P, I need to talk to you about something…”
“Also, we still haven’t found the source of the video from the taxi, but I already have people going to taxi companies to talk to them. We should get an answer by tonight at the latest.”
“Sister, listen…”
“Right, do you know what’s strange that the director told me about? In the video, didn’t the red-clothed girl fall down? Back then, a pearl hairpin fell off from her head. The museum people picked that pearl hairpin up and ran it through some tests. It turns out that the pearl hairpin is actually real pearl and gold! Looking at the craftsmanship of the pearl hairpin, it should be an artifact from the Hua Dynasty. But no matter well-preserved artifacts are, they’ll still show traces of time, yet that pearl hairpin was brand-new. Even a grave robber’s treasures wouldn’t be so clean. Isn’t that weird?”
“Sister!” Cheng Xingfei raised her voice once more and interrupted her agent. “Can you let me finish!”
Sister P finally stopped touching up her makeup. Her eyes moved from the mirror in the makeup compact to Cheng Xingfei.
Sister P raised her eyebrows and asked nonchalantly, “Hm? What do you want to say?”
Cheng Xingfei’s expression was a little strange. She had on an obedient smile, but her eyes were blinking restlessly. This expression seemed much like — a cat that was acting like a baby to beg for forgiveness from its sh*t-shoveling officer5 after doing something wrong.
She slowly stretched out a finger and pointed to the backseat of the nanny car.
Sister P turned her head to look in the direction of her pointing finger — in the next moment, the pressed powder in the agent’s hand fell to the ground, crushed into dust.
— “There is no need to salute to bengong.” The red-clothed girl in the backseat raised her chin and said haughtily, “Bengong is tired. Aren’t you going to take bengong to bathe and have a meal?”
Sister P: “…”
Sister P: “……”
Sister P: “………”
Cheng Xingfei shook her and whispered, “Sister, are you okay?”
Sister P suppressed a bear growl in her throat. “Am I f*cking okay!!!!! Cheng Xingfei, you have some guts, right????”
……
Hua Zhao took a hot bath, changed into a bathrobe, and sat slightly cautiously on the soft and wide sofa. Her eyes moved around the room to inspect it with great curiosity.
Was she cautious?
Wrong, she was faking it!
The girl picked up the skirt of the pink silk sling pajamas she was wrapped in, fingertips stroking the layer upon layer of white lace on the skirt, growing happier and happier the more she looked.
She thought, the world a thousand years later was like how those strange and unbelievable stories said it would be… Wrong! This place was even better than the world in the stories!
This place was so high up, as if she could reach out and touch the stars. The windows were all made out of transparent class; even if she was from the imperial palace, she’d never seen such a luxurious item before. As for bathing and clean clothes, that was even more peculiar! She only needed to turn a valve and a steady stream of hot water would come out. She didn’t need to use soap when washing her hair, she could use a type of fragrant balm that made lots and lots of bubbles when she rubbed…
Hua Zhao had always been courageous. She even leaned against the floor-to-ceiling windows, looking down at the endless stream of people and cars below her.
The sun was bright outside, but it was cool inside. Apparently, there was a “central air conditioning” thing that could lower the temperature. She walked around the house barefooted, flipping this and playing with that, as if she was in her own house.
Really, the lawlessness was carved into her bones.
The living room and dining room were separated by a a transparent glass partition. Inside the dining room, Sister P crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes never leaving Hua Zhao for a moment. There was a deep scrutiny and thought inside her gaze, like at any time the rose-like charming girl could become a fuzzy bomb.
Cheng Xingfei came out of the kitchen and handed her a glass of water and a painkiller.
Sister P was finally willing to look at her.
Sister P: “Why did you get me painkillers?”
Cheng Xingfei smiled: “I’m afraid you’ll get a headache.”
“…” In irritation, Sister P said, “So you know what you did! — You act first then tell me later just like that, causing such a big trouble. Even if I had nine lives, you’d kill me off from anger eight times.”
Although she was complaining, she wasn’t truly irritated. She’d worked with Cheng Xingfei for over a year and knew very well that Cheng Xingfei was not as soft and well-mannered as she seemed on the surface.
Cheng Xingfei seemed to be as gentle as water, as if any person could easily break her. But in fact, she was firm; as long as she’d decided on something, she would never turn back. Her tenacity was extraordinary — if not, she wouldn’t have stood against public opinion to take on the drama “Princess Hua Zhao” by herself.
As she thought of “Princess Hua Zhao,” Sister P’s head hurt even more.
After all, now there was the real princess alive and kicking right in front of them!
Sister P took a painkiller, rubbed her forehead, and asked, “Xingfei, could the two of us not have waken up yet? Or maybe you’re twins? How could there be a person who looks exactly the same as you? Maybe she did plastic surgery to look like you?”
Cheng Xingfei replied, “She doesn’t even know how to use facial cleanser. Just now, I had to help her wash off her makeup myself. I touched that face from top to bottom. It’s original, not even a single problem.”
Sister P had been in the industry for a long time. She didn’t know how many artists she’d seen who had or hadn’t gone through plastic surgery. There were makeup artists who really had a magic brush and could paint two completely different-looking people to look exactly the same. But the appearance after removing makeup couldn’t deceive anyone. That face was completely identical to Cheng Xingfei’s.
Even the small mole underneath her eye was exactly the same.
Sister P still didn’t believe and firmly held onto her own practicality: “Let’s say you two are doppelgangers, but to have transmigrated…”
She hadn’t yet finished speaking when Hua Zhao bumped into something in the living room. The TV that had originally been stored behind the wall rotated out and the screen lit up. A variety show autoplayed, sounding the guests’ laughs and the audience’s applause.
The “little people” that had suddenly appeared on the TV shocked the completely-unprepared Hua Zhao.
She screamed and subconsciously jumped onto the coffee table next to her.
The coffee table swayed and almost fell apart; Hua Zhao jumped in fright and hurriedly jumped again from the coffee table to the sofa arm — but this was the wrong thing to do, the sofa lost its balance and turned right over!
Before the sofa turned over, Hua Zhao hastily supported herself with the glass cabinet next to it. This cabinet was stuffed full with all of the awards Cheng Xingfei had received over the years; it swayed and the awards fell over one after another like bowling pins that had been hit by a ball!
Afraid that she’d be hit, Hua Zhao grabbed onto the floor curtains next to her. With a rip, the curtains were pulled down inch by inch…
With a clamor and a ruckus… in the blink of an eye, the living room that had originally been decorated to be magnificent became a broken battlefield.
A glass cup had hit the TV and half the screen had gone dark.
The coffee table was smashed, tea staining the carpet.
The sofa was overturned, the cabinet fallen over, the trophies broken on the ground, even the curtains were torn down from the top…
Everything happened so quickly that Cheng Xingfei and Sister P had no time to react.
Cheng Xingfei: “…”
Sister P: “…”
Sister P was stunned. “If a TV makes her this scared… now I believe that she’s a princess who’s transmigrated over.”
Cheng Xingfei took in the mess. She couldn’t keep up the smile on her face as her expression gradually collapsed. “Wrong — she isn’t a princess who transmigrated over, she’s my ancestor6 who transmigrated over!”
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Footnotes:
1 Based off of Arthur Conan Doyle’s famous quote: “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter improbable, must be the truth.”
2 Part of Hua Zhao’s confusion lies in the sentence structure. Another way to read/hear this is “Odd changes; even doesn’t change,” which is the first part of a math memory trick that basically all Chinese students learn. The second part is: “for the sign, look at the quadrant.” It refers to trigonometric functions — sin is an odd function that changes sign when you flip it over the x-axis, while cos is an even function that doesn’t change sign. In order to determine whether your final answer is positive or negative, you need to check which quadrant the angle you’re taking the trig value of is in.
3 An iconic lyric from Little Apple by the Chopstick Brothers, a song that blew up like crazy on the internet back in the mid-2010s, partially because the song by itself is insanely brainwashing, but also that the music video is a whole other thing altogether. There’s really no way to describe it if you’ve never seen it before, so here’s the link to share the suffering. The only way for Hua Zhao to not know this lyric would be if she was living in a ditch for the past few years.
4 This one is just a silly trick question. In Chinese, “sitting” is homophonous with “seven,” so you could hear “qi hou” as either “[a] sitting monkey” or “seven monkeys.” If you say 2 monkeys, your wily friend will tell you wrong, the answer is 8; if you say 8 monkeys, your smug friend will answer with no, 2.
5 Chinese slang for cat owners.
6 In terms of ancestor worship being a really big thing in Chinese culture, so in this case, even if Hua Zhao wrecks Cheng Xingfei’s house, she has to take it
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yay, double update today! Adjusted the upload schedule again, trying to figure out the pace I’d like to work with. I think Accompany You and With You suit weekly releases, but something about PFE makes me impatient to translate and upload (lol), so, leaving it as “random updates” for now.
lilypad translations 